Structure. Structure has several meanings. There is the structure in regards to a plan, structure in regards to a rhythm of life, and then of course, structure in regards to the actual building structure. We build portfolio’s, planning for years or even decades to come. This fund and that fund, all in hopes that we can plan out everything in our future and have no worries. We put dependence in that, and therefore, we are worry free. At least that’s our hope. That’s structure in regards to a plan. We have administrative assistants, or worse case scenario, the leather-bound day planner that structures our our meetings, practices, workouts, lunches and birthdays-structure in regards to rhythm. And, we have our business buildings, shopping malls, apartment buildings, homes or even tents-structure in regards to physical place.
These different structures are meant to aide us in our lives. Help when we are too aged to be able to take care of ourselves, help so that we make time for those things we deem important and needed and help in making life easier, warmer, more comfortable. And these structures aren’t bad in and of themselves. They exist to aide us. But far too often, I’ve noticed in my own life, that instead of aiding me, I begin to live for these structures instead of theses structures existing to aide me. My reliance upon God is replaced with reliance on these things. When these things are out of line, I scramble to put them back into place, forgetting God in the midst, only to return to Him when my structure, in it’s various forms, is restored to a “liveable” state.
Reliance on those things replaces relationship with God. I’m assuming, again at least for me, that I put reliance on those things because I can touch them, feel them, see them. They are tangible, measurable, containable, etc. But God is not measurable. And therefore, we cannot fully understand.
If we cannot fully understand and contain, how can we then trust? In the evangelical world in America (I don’t say “West” because the West is not just the United States and Canada, or Western Europe, but Australia, New Zealand, South Korea and other places; incredibly diverse), we have come to a place where we have to “prove” God. We have to give scientific evidence, and argue and debate from a “prove it” offensive. Yet, God never called us to do this. We took this upon ourselves because it was too hard to believe in a God that, like the wind, blows where He wants, when He wants, how He wants. The wind is un-containable, and therefore we cannot master it. Otherwise, no pun intended, it would blow our mind. We put our reliance in our schedules, structures, in our scientific “facts” about God. But what if those were to crumble? A few posts ago, I began writing a series of posts talking about desire and dependence. I’ve been mulling over for sometime now (by time I mean a few years) about our relationship to God and where our desires have taken us from where we were to where we are now. It’s a wrestle in the mud kind of idea. But reliance and us having to build constraints to feel that we can rely on Him, have been apart of the journey we have been on as a Church.
What’s funny, is that we also cannot fully understand each other. I’ve been married to Iris for 15 years, and I still learn more about her each day. I come to a more fuller understanding of her each moment. I know I will never come to a complete understanding of her and I don’t want to. I want to continue to learn about her and learn from her. Because If I ever find myself in a moment when I have come to a complete understanding of her, a moment when I can “measure” or “contain” her, what kind of relationship would there be? What desire, need, hunger or even interest would there be towards her?
God is infinitely more “complex” than we are. There is security in Him, but not in the ways we think. Not in the ways we can measure, contain, encapsulate into a tidy, neat package. I want to serve a God…and love a God like that. That I can explore the height, depth and breadth of His love for me for all eternity…..and never reach the end.
be blessed today